SOUNDS OF THE HEART

I'm busy with something or other and suddenly a few words or phrases in Russian float up from the depths of childhood when my father, Sacha, was talking with his relatives. I never learned Russian properly but the long-forgotten sound of it can still ring bells in my heart. The language I heard then rippled with tenderness, nostalgia, enthusiasm, passion. I recognise some of the words coming from the mouth of Putin but they are laced with the poison of hate.

Here is my beloved father (Sachinka) to clear the air.

WARTIME DIARY BY YEVGENIA BELORUSETS

https://www.artforum.com/slant/a-wartime-diary-by-yevgenia-belorusets-88035?fbclid=IwAR0gjL6RsKQIESpQliY-GLUqA5RPr7HXQftHcuCkAteIYS0GFxYMvKYd0RU

THE LIES, THE LIES!

I can't stop watching the news on all the channels, looking for hope, for miracles. In my bones I feel the rage, the disbelief, the horror that has descended on those millions of souls struggling to stay alive, to stay human while being assaulted by a litlle man whose lies and insanity have the power to unleash Armageddon on them and on all of us. How is this possible? How has it been possible time and again in human history? The lies. the lies! The iron curtain of lies hiding the truth from the Russian people, even from Putin's own soldiers who were told they were being sent on a "peace keeping" mission. Now they know, will the hideous facts be enough to halt this disaster? Where are the tech experts who can find chinks in the cyber iron curtain, allowing the whole population of Russia to see and hear what is hidden from them?

UKRAINE CRISIS

There is one way, other than money sanctions and troops on the ground, to stop Putin's megalomanic insanity from growing any further. This would be if his own army stops, wakes up and says NO NO NO! We're not doing this anymore. We're not going to kill our people and kill ourselves to satisfy this man's obsession, we're not going to start a world war to satisfy him.

What could he do against such a coup, such unanimous military resistance? If all his soldiers in Ukraine lay down their weapons and his pilots refuse to fly and the tanks stand still? And all the generals and commanders defy his orders? No doubt many of those now advancing into Ukraine are asking themselves why. The Russian people don't want this war, the Ukrainians don't want it, most of the world doesn't want it. Putin can stop anti-war protestors in the streets of Russia, throw them all in jail or shoot them, but how could he stop his entire army from refusing to take his orders?

How to make them see that, en masse, they CAN DISOBEY? Putin doesn't care about economic sanctions, he's prepared for that well in advance, for sure. And if Nato troops are pushed to act, he'll have his insane finger on the nuclear button.

I keep on believing that mass disobedience..the word MASS is crucial..can be the tool to resolve specific crises such as the current one. Supposing the whole of the Russian military simply refuse to carry out their orders, what could Putin do about it? He can't kill them all because he would no longer have an army and it would take too long to build up a new one. What is needed is a powerful, radical psychological movement which gives confidence to huge numbers of individuals who are used by governments to carry out their plans, confidence that they can refuse those plans. It has to be more than flower-power etc. The most sophisticated weaponry still needs humans to activate it. The most powerful leaders in the world still need human beings gathered together as armies to do their bidding.

DOODLING ON 18 FEBRUARY 2022

OUT OF THE BLUE

Amazing things sometimes appear out of the blue. There must be an enormous variety of amazing things floating around in that blue but how does any one of them suddenly decide to pop up and point to you? Chance? Coincidence? Predestination? Etcetera? Recently I’ve been too busy to blog because one of those blue-generated happenings landed on me. Have you got time? This is a slow post.

A long time ago…okay, I’ll admit it was 1952 but please remember that I’m only chronologically old, not old in any other way…I was living in New York City and wrote a story for children called The Legend of Weapons. I was going to illustrate it but had so much else to do that I sent it to Gian Berto Vanni, an Italian artist friend, asking if he’d like to take it on and I would then try to find a publisher. He liked the story and, always looking for new opportunities, soon produced a batch of inventive, tongue-in-cheek, sophisticated black line drawings. I put the text and drawings together and sent the ms to several publishers who rejected it, nicely. One of them accepted but later changed their minds. I kept trying to interest others but time went by, life went on, and gradually I lost touch with the Vanni family and the Legend of Weapons went into my overflowing box of unborn projects.

It’s now 2022, 70 years later. A wonderful independent Italian editor of children’s books who published a new edition of a book illustrated by Vanni asks Ruggero whether his father ever illustrated any other stories for children. Yes, says Ruggero, but we lost touch with the author, Natalie. Then the artist son of artist Gian Berto Vanni finds me out of the blue. He lives in New York. We connect, we email, we talk online. Gian Berto died a few years ago and Ruggero took on the task of keeping his father’s work alive and well.

I find my old manuscript. Ruggero finds scans of GB’s illustrations. We prepare a PDF presentation of The Legend of Weapons (in Italian). I’ve re-titled it Per Caso or Accidentally in English. The Italian publisher loves it. They’re going to publish it. We’ve signed a contract. The book will be out early next year in Italy and foreign editions will happen too. Of course I will say much more about it and post some of the images in due course.

May the blue be good to you!

SEEING THINGS DIFFERENTLY

Midnight to 3am, on 4th and 5th of January, 2022. Stage one of a drawing. Graphite, coloured pencils, chalk, ink, watercolour etc. on paper. 42 x 29cms.

Final stage, same drawing.

NEARLY NEW YEAR

A NEW YEAR DOODLE.

ALL THE LONELY PEOPLE

The thing about loneliness.....I'll start again because I was drifting into generalities. I don't like generalities because the obvious fact is that whoever writes something or says something is a person, a specific person. Anything we say is personal, a personal viewpoint or feeling or theory or observation. No matter how impersonal, abstract, objective, clever, informed we can make it sound, there is always a "me" behind it. Always. Even if you're parroting an opinion you have heard elsewhere, the parrot is you. That's my personal opinion. As I was saying, the thing about loneliness...I mean my loneliness...,is that it's never about wanting company. It's more like an un-healed wound. A hidden wound which hurts once in a while, not often.

That's all I really wanted to say and the only reason I'm saying it on this public platform is because there's no specific person to say it to.

Goodnight, bonne nuit, buenas noches, buona notte, boa noite, etc.

SEASON'S GREETING

Not dead, not ill, not Omicronified. Just silently busy with work and ordinary things.

Sincerely wishing each and every one of you

every possible and impossible reason

to celebrate

if not every day

then at least every other day

for the rest of this year

and all of the New Year

and every year

forever more.