Showing posts with label self-portrait. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self-portrait. Show all posts

Monday, July 26, 2010

LUCIEN FREUD (et moi) AT THE POMPIDOU

I'm about to make sweeping statements but this is my blog and I'm allowed to sweepstate as much as I like. You are encouraged to refute, agree, elaborate, contradict, and I hope you will do one or more of these things because, frankly, comments are few and far between over here lately and I'd like to boost the participatory factor. So, here goes. 

There are two types of creatives: receptives and obsessives.


Receptive-creatives have hyper-sensitive antennae which are continually picking up visual, verbal and subliminal information and sensations from the surroundings. Receptive-creatives are easily distracted because of the abundance of stimuli bombarding them. When an object or subject captures their attention, they will give it total concentration but only until the next stimulus becomes impossible to ignore. The variety and intensity of input vibrating their antennae is such that the degree of success (in worldly terms) which their creativity achieves depends on the amount of time they are able and willing to give to any particular message the universe sends. A state of readiness to absorb, combined with uncertainty about whether the material really merits absorption, is the receptive-creative's normal modus vivendi. I, ahem, am among those who fit into this category. 

Obsessive-creatives are driven by a compulsion which demands single-minded focus on a chosen path and the avoidance of anything which might disturb, distract or question this choice. They too are receptive but in a one-track way and they arrange their lives so as to feed their compulsion and insist that anyone who comes close should either support it or stay out. Dedicated, opinionated, blinkered, uncompromising, workaholic, eccentric, egocentric, extraordinary, are some of the adjectives frequently used in describing them. I would prefer to be an o-c rather than an r-c but I have never succeeded in remodelling myself. Lucian Freud is among those who are probably born into this category.

I have not been one of the many admirers of Sigmund's grandson's painting (or of his grandad for that  matter - don't let me get distracted!) but I didn't want to miss this exhibition because I hoped to be goaded into pursuing a completely contrary path. So I took my lethargic body to the Pompidou - nowadays ressembling a decaying community centre designed by committee - and escalated, via a bird's eye view of the Rue Beaubourg, to the sixth floor galleries where Freud's Atelier paintings were impressively hung. 


Pompidou Centre entrance hall.

View from sixth level of the Pompidou Centre. 

I did not expect to be impressed. But I was. Not impressed as in awestruck but as in, this is important stuff - must sit down and take it in slowly.

First of all, his colours. They are greys, browns, ochres, meat-red, black and the occasional dusty yellow-green. They are Old Master-ish, museum-ish colours, destined for posterity and weighty gold frames, defiantly academic, you could even say anti-modernist. 

Then there's the light. The grey light of London bed-sitters in lonely winters and sweaty summers. The cold light of dawn, post-coitum triste. The sleepless night light of regret, apathy, desperation. The merciless light of hospitals, morgues and bus stations at 4 am. 

Then there's the flesh, his subject. Passive flesh offered up to be penetrated by his dominant, hypnotic gaze. Naked but not erotic bodies splayed in apparent abandon on the bed, sofa or floor, seemingly obeying the master's stage-instructions to "be themselves" but, in truth, being only what he requires them to be. He says that what interests him in people is their animal side and that he likes seeing his subjects "as naturally and physically at ease as his dog." However, far from being at ease in their theatrical set-up, Freud's actors are more like tranquilised laboratory animals, their vitality suppressed, coerced by the painter's will into becoming still-life - even the dog must relinquish all doggy energy if he's to play a part in a Freudian tableau. But in the coruscating self-portraits, perhaps the only time the artist allows his model to confront him as an equal, Freud achieves magnificent, courageous insight. 

I understand the necessity of establishing rules of engagement when absorbed in the intensely difficult process of looking at and transcribing a human presence. The artist may be inwardly saying to his subject: go away! I mean stay, but don't talk, don't move, don't interact, just be still so I can observe you without being observed. So it makes sense that Freud prefers his models to be asleep or in a kind of trance induced by long hours of posing, but his determined focus on flesh as meat, to the exclusion of any other aspect of identity (as far as he's concerned, the matiƩre of his portrait of a person is that person) must be the reason I left Lucien Freud's Atelier very impressed, but ultimately disappointed. The old Peggy Lee song ran through my mind..........Is That All There Is?

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Sunday, May 10, 2009

ULTIMATE INTIMATE JOURNAL, EXTRACT 3



Click on image for larger view

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Monday, March 02, 2009

NEARLY THERE

Apart from some minor tweaking (tweaking takes time) it's done. Then I have to watch the paint dry. Then order a frame. Then deliver to the National Portrait Gallery on the last day of the deadline, 19 March. After that, it's in the lap of the gods - or rather, the jury.

Behind the mirror on the right hand side, I have included a tiny version of part of my construction, The Lesson, which actually sits on that bookshelf. It's sort of a message to myself. Here's a close-up of the original piece, which you may already have seen in a video I made a while back.


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Thursday, February 19, 2009

I'VE GOT EYES!


Face improved. Working on mirror illusion and space behind mirror illusion. Illusion is very hard work.

P.S. None of these photos give an accurate version of the actual colours of the painting. I don't know why it is impossible to upload anything which shows the true colours of any original. Maybe it's my camera, maybe it's Photoshop, maybe it's Dreamweaver, maybe it's the web, maybe it's the weather.

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CLOSER TO TRAPPING THE SELF


Here is the latest, unfinished version and the mirror I stare into. I decided to incorporate part of the mirror itself into the painting and also include a thin slice of the room behind it on the right-hand side of the canvas.

I like the idea of trying to represent four levels of reality/unreality simultaneously: the mirror, the image reflected in it, the painting, the person looking in the mirror (but is it really me?) It's far from finished but I'm not going to scrape this one out. I'm worried that there's so much paint on this canvas it will never be dry by the deadline for delivering the work (14 March).

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Tuesday, February 10, 2009

THE ELUSIVE SELF


The portrait has not been going well. For the benefit of anyone interested in the process, I'm posting some of the states below. I'm now on the fourth scrape-it-all-out-and-start-again: the "Better but still no good" painting, which was the latest, is no more. Kaputt.

Some of what I'm struggling with is:


1. The sad grey winter light and the shortness of days.


2. Indecisiveness about what approach I want to take.


3. Tendency to overdo and thus lose something that was going well.


4. Having become used to the speed and ease of digital painting and its marvellous "UNDO" option, unfortunately unavailable in real-life oil painting.


5. The infuriating, seductive, non-user-friendly character of oil paint.


6. An angry nostalgia for bygone years when I was able to toss off a really quite good portrait in a few hours.


7. Bad mood due to all the above plus some extra stuff not worth mentioning.



Okay, I know: Fail again. Fail better.

I'll keep going. A desire to please is the enemy. Must keep that in mind.


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Saturday, January 31, 2009

PAINTING THE SELF



Blogging is currently taking a back seat to real life. Am doing a self-portrait which I want to enter in this year's National Portrait Gallery BP Award and the deadline is in early March.

Painting from life is exhausting, at least to me. After only an hour's concentration I feel as if I've been plowing fields, chopping firewood, carrying buckets of water on my head and shearing sheep. Frequent coffee/tea/newspaper breaks are essential but tend to carry on too long and because of freakin short days of winter the light changes and so I have to turn on the electricity and then everything is different and so either I have to start again or stop for the day and do some drawings.

Here is a summary of what's been happening so far. I am not gloomy, it's just concentration that makes me look that way.

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