Tuesday, March 20, 2018

CURE FOUND FOR COMMON COLD

Did you know that peeling an onion cures a heavy cold? Neither did I. But I peeled an onion and cried as usual and then my heavy cold (are there any light ones?) was cured. Today I am nearly cold-free and I could say it's because the onion cured me but it might also be because the cold was getting better anyway.

All you have to do is assert something in an assertive way:

PEELING AN ONION IS CURE FOR COLDS.
Photo of cold-puffy celebrity peeling onion.
Bright-eyed celebrity interviewed moments after miraculous onion-cure.
Millions of tweeters tweet that they've always known it, grandma used to rub their chests with a raw onion.
Other tweeters tweet that it's all cobblers.
But by then onions have sold out in all the shops.

My cold really is better though. And the onion I peeled went in the chicken soup.

5 comments:

Catalyst said...

The chicken soup will finish the job. --Grandma

N. D'Arbeloff said...

Was it one of your grandmna's sayings, Bruce?

My chicken soup, by the way, is excellent. Recipe available if snyone wants it.

Anonymous said...

I really like raw onion. I haven't actually ever tried eating one like an apple but I bet doing so would really tell a cold where to get off. It would certainly lessen the risk of the cold spreading, as no-one would want to get within twenty feet of you!

Could eating that much raw onion in one go be bad for you though? I've a feeling my stomach would complain (although one of my favourite sandwich fillings is raining, soya sauce and raw onion).

Anonymous said...

"Raining"? Predictive text can be very annoying. That should have read "tahini"!

N. D'Arbeloff said...

I was wondering about 'raining'in your sandwich - thought it might be raisins. Tahini I could never have guessed. But a rain sarnie is poetic and lovely. In reality it would just be soggy bread.