Tuesday, March 17, 2020



A phone call and an email with apologies from UCLH announces that my operation (hip resurrection) due to happen on Friday has been cancelled because the hospital needs to reduce the number of patients admitted for surgery at present.

My op will still happen, whenever possible. I don't have the virus and I'm washing my hands constantly, not touching anyone and not doing anything we're not supposed to do. Self-isolating is no problem, it's my normal life. But I'm freaking not going to stay indoors for 4 months, no way! 

I'm simultaneously disappointed and relieved. Like having rehearsed intensively for a show in which I play the leading role then suddenly being told the show is off. Theatre closed. Cast gone. Audience gone. Not gone as in totally gone, but not there.

Please adjust all extra-sensory telepathogenic cosmically superpowerful waves, rays, incantations and other miraculous manoeuvres you were going to aim in my direction on the 20th of March and keep them bubbling somewhere safe until a new date for the NatOp is announced. Thank you very much.

I realise that I'm shamefully ignorant about viruses. Why are they such interestingly modern-arty-looking objects and behave so badly? Are they part of the animal kingdom? Do they have brains? Has anyone ever tried to teach them stuff, like how to be nice to people? Do they communicate with each other? What do they want, apart from destruction?

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