Rulers: I hate them, Especially the measuring kind. I'm good at DIY in general, always have done my own putting up/taking down shelves, painting, plastering, caulking, basic electrical stuff, self-assembling furniture (even when instructions are in ancient Greek) and so on. However, my bête noire is/are rulers. All those fine little lines between actual proper numbers are beyond the pale. I more or less ignore them. A piece of cardboard marked wherever marks are needed is much handier.
So here we
are, latest box construction in full flow, and I just happen to put the
big ruler (centimetres) against the left side of the box and then again
on the right side.
Well, as you can see in the two photos below, the height of the left side is 41 (minus two-ish little lines) whereas the height of the right side is 40 (plus four-ish little lines). Conclusion: the left is higher than the right by a certain number of little lines. Now I don't mind some roughness, I often prefer it. But if one side of the finished box when hung on a wall will be noticeably higher than the other, it will drive me nuts. Therefore it must be corrected.
Unfortunately I have been extremely conscientious and every bit of wood etc. is firmly glued to every other bit so lowering one side is out of the question. No worries! As usual, I'll bluff my way out of measurement by improvisation. I will...erm...simply build up the top of the shorter side with some clever packing. Or maybe lower the higher side by planing the hardboard down. Or maybe......
Well, as you can see in the two photos below, the height of the left side is 41 (minus two-ish little lines) whereas the height of the right side is 40 (plus four-ish little lines). Conclusion: the left is higher than the right by a certain number of little lines. Now I don't mind some roughness, I often prefer it. But if one side of the finished box when hung on a wall will be noticeably higher than the other, it will drive me nuts. Therefore it must be corrected.
Unfortunately I have been extremely conscientious and every bit of wood etc. is firmly glued to every other bit so lowering one side is out of the question. No worries! As usual, I'll bluff my way out of measurement by improvisation. I will...erm...simply build up the top of the shorter side with some clever packing. Or maybe lower the higher side by planing the hardboard down. Or maybe......
12 comments:
It's called bodging; it's endemic among literary types, nothing to be ashamed of. Of course you hate the ruler because it represents the perfect world you would like to aspire to but can't. There's a religious parallel here but I won't bother with that.
Rulers have no place in painting since you can tell yourself that you decided to do a thing irregularly, as it's turned out. You can conveniently forget that earlier aspiration which saw it differently. The ruler has no place because you are the Ruler (note the cap) and it just so happens you're made of rubber. You bend according to later preferences.
Me too. Words are even more wobbly than paintings, even more flexible than rubber rulers. I can start out saying this will be good; when it turns out to be bad I can fool myself saying bad was my sub-conscious wish. In my defence I must say I envy engineers. I can see beauty in a well-designed gearbox.
Of course, it is entirely possible that a new pair of specs is in order. :)
Robbie, I like it that your comments often demand to be challenged! In my case,they often press the ever-ready 'disagree' button, but in a good way, obliging me to think more specifically before I speak again. Anyway please read (or re-read) my re-comment response (about perfection) to a comment you made after a recent post of mine.
But now: I truly do not belong among literary types although yes, I do recognise the type. I also truly do not believe in a perfect world or aspire to one if it were possible. My hatred for the ruler is practical, a critique of bad design on the part of ruler-designers. I do not in the least hate order, symmetry, balance, craftsmanship in any field nor do I belong in the slap-dash-everything-I-do-is art-bceause-I-Am-An-Artist genre. Yes I too see beauty in a well-designed gearbox (or other functional object)and I too envy, for example, plumbers - have frequently regretted I didn't train in such a skill on the side - it would have guaranteed a steady income, allowing me to pursue art free from livelihood concerns.
Now see what you've done? I'm rambling, over-protesting. All I really meant to reply is that my anti-ruler post was a bit of fun and if ever you have occasion to see any of my work/works up close, in real life as opposed to digitally, you'll notice that they are, mostly, not askew. Thanks for challnging!
Tom, your reply is so logical it makes me laugh, happily.
However, in spite of my un-admitted advanced years, I still do not use or need specs (eye-tests prove it). Providence, genetics, or Whatever have been incredibly kind to me, knowing somehow that good eyesight would be essential to my chosen profession. So the ruler anomaly is...ahem....of course....not my fault!
You describe a botch then say you don't botch. What's a chap to do?
H'm...do I dare admit you're right? I did botch. A bit. Ruler or no ruler. I am now unbotching the botch. Apart from my post about it and these comments (all of which will be forgotten in less time it takes to write this) nobody will ever know that a botch was committed.
Sorry, a correction is called for. "To botch" is to mess up a project irretrievably, "to bodge" is simply to improvise. I intended to use the latter in my second comment, as in the first. Also, rather than "literary" I should have employed the broader "arty". It is for such second thoughts that the word processor was invented although a sentient being must be in charge of the WP to take full advantage of the Delete key. It seems my sentience went walkabout.
Or maybe you were just bodging, Robbie. Sorry, now I'm dodging.
Bodge, botch...let's call the whole thing off. No, it's all my fault. I was not aware of the bodge word. I learned English in America when I was about nine and spoke American until the age of approximately twenty when it all went somewhat tranatlantic. I don't remember ever hearing 'bodge' as opposed to 'botch'. Anyway, thanks to everyone for the entertainment. The bodge has now been taken care of.
Um, a simple(ish) way of checking (measuring)whether squares or rectangles have "right" (90 degree) angles is to measure diagonally across the corners. Hope that this helps.
Self actually grew up with "yards", "feet", and "inches" (and 'fractions' of inches) until Australia changed to the metrics in 1966.
I still have to think in "miles per hour" then try to convert it to 'kilometres/hour' ... heh - though thinking in 'mils' is easier, since have done a lot of carpentry. Does become awkward on occasion when i forget the difference between 'centimetres' and 'millimetres' - and order something as '40 X 20' and forget to tell them that i meant millimetres, not centimetres. Ye Olde "4X2" (4inches X 2inches) carpentry measure remains understood here ... even by people born long after 1966. ..
"Rulers"? There are Authoritarian rulers, and gentle rRulers. Rules of the road and Golden Rules ... and sometimes people like me 'break' the rules ... and are punished, more or less. There are some who break the rules and are extremely successful ... self has never really quite understood what "The Rules" are .... meh.
Thanks Davoh but I do have a T-square, right angles and almost every tool under the sun. As I said before, I'm an old hand at DIY of many kinds. I was also brought up with feet and inches: my height is 4 feet eleven inches and I still haven't bothered to check what that is in centimetres/metres. I dislike centimetres more than I dislike inches because there are more of them on a ruler.
Somebody in a comment on FaceBook (where I cross-post) said that rulers should have different coloured lines separating whole numbers. A brilliant idea, I think. Would make it much easier to measure.
As for the other kind of Rulers (those who rule the world) I'm generally not keen on them. Absolute power corrupts...etc. Rules, on the other hand, are necessary and useful, when they are actually useful, and not devised by despots...megalomaniac Rulers.
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