Tuesday, August 07, 2018


It is now officially my birthday and I am about to reveal a number that you, my tiny, cherished audience, have been waiting for.

Here it is: my actual, factual, chronological age is 3524.

Just do the maths:
from the 7th August 1507 BC to the 7th August 2018 AD is precisely 3524 years, 42,288 months, 1 million 287 thousand 128 days. Fact! Let me explain.

In my previous life, the one just before this one, I was born as Hatshepsut in Egypt,18th dynasty, in the year 1507 BC. If you studied ancient history you will have heard of me. If you haven't, you can Google me. Yes yes I know! When people believe in past lives they always think they were celebrities. But that's not my case because I actually WAS Hatshepsut. Tina Turner also says she was Hatshepsut. We were probably friends back then and Tina is terrific but she was not Hatshepsut, obviously, because I was. I have loads of proof.

As Hatshepsut, I died in 1458 BC but my mummy was only discovered in 2007 AD. In 1992 I made a bookwork called NATSHEPSUT (get it?)

Now you can wish me happy re-birth day.

NATSHEPSUT 1992. One-of-a-kind bookwork. Mixed media.
Book: 40 x 15cm. Box: 25 X 50.5 X 9.5cm.

The title combines Natalie with Hatshepsut, the XVIII dynasty female Pharaoh, with whom I have a special affinity. A 'sarcophagus'made from a mahogany drawer is painted with Egyptian and personal symbols and contains the book, wrapped in stained linen cloth, on one side of which I wrote a poem (see below) which is repeated on the pages. On the reverse of the wrapper are transfers of newspaper cuttings about the discovery of Hatshepsut's tomb and extracts from an old passport of mine. The book has wooden covers, carved and decorated with sand and sequins. It is attached to concertina-folded Arches pages and supported by a central wooden pillar. The images, printed on both sides of the paper from stencils, are a mixture of Egyptian and personal scenes including part of a landscape near the Rio Paraguay where I once lived, resembling the Nile.


Tom said...

Happy re-birth day indeed - whenever it actually is. There appears to be some doubt as to whether you took the "missing days" into account when the calendars changed in 1582 [Pope Gregory XIII, Julian to Gregorian] and the realignment of the English to the Continental calendars in 1752. I don't wish to nit-pick, but time is precious is it not. Thank you for the clarification concerning your origins. How should I address one of such exalted origins in future? Mummy would hardly seem to be appropriate!!

N. D'Arbeloff said...

Tom, I got those figures from Google so I assume somebody or some computer did the calculations.
How to address me? Well, since in this life I'm of considerably lower status, Natalie...or Natshepsut...wil do!