Saturday, December 09, 2017

SHERLOCK HOLMES AND THE UNBEARABLE LIGHTNESS OF SAWDUST



Holmes - Watson, have you forgotten to sweep the new wooden floor in my study? Look, a fine film of dust is still clinging to it!

Watson - While you were out, Holmes, I went over it again and again but to no avail. Moments later the dust reappeared.

Holmes - My dear fellow, I do not doubt your good intentions but I'm afraid your eyesight is not what it was. You simply failed to see the remaining dust.

Watson - My vision is as good as yours, Holmes, and dare I say, better. I have been pondering a theory as to why the sawdust is lingering.

Holmes - Let's hear it. Then kindly redo the dusting while I go for a walk to clear my lungs.

Watson - Well, sawdust particles are tiny little things of infinite lightness and duration and millions of them were released into the room by the men sawing the wooden boards.

Holmes - Those foreign workers, yes.

Watson - That's neither here nor there, Holmes. The particles, being so small and light, are still floating in the air as we speak. Therefore as soon as the floor was cleaned, those which were still hovering above gently floated down.

Holmes - Watson, take off your shoes.

Watson - What? My Aberdummy and Kitch handmade brogues?

Holmes - Precisely. Take them off and show them to me.

Watson - Very well, if I must.

Holmes - Observe the soles, Watson. Do you see fine particles of sawdust clinging there?

Watson - I'm afraid I do, Holmes. I see what you're getting at. My shoes are responsible for the lingering dust.

Holmes - When I return from my walk I expect the study to be pristine, Watson.

Short interval. Holmes returns, finds Watson in an armchair, smoking his pipe. A fine mist of sawdust covers the floor.

Watson - I was right, Holmes. It's gravity, you see.

Holmes - Those foreign workers, you can't rely on them.

Watson - Einstein was a foreign worker, Holmes.

                                                                  THE END

4 comments:

Catalyst said...

Holmes does not seem to be regarding sawdust.

Tom said...

In my experience, highly polished surfaces do seem to attract dust motes. Maybe it isn't all down to gravity; a little electrostatics might play a part. If you cover the floors with wall-to-wall carpet, that might fix the problem. :)

N. D'Arbeloff said...

Bruce, know-it-all Sherlock doesn't know it all!

Tom,aha!Thanks for another explanation of the unbearable persistence of sawdust:

1. Sawdust-carrying shoe-soles.
2. Light-as-air floating particles and gravity.
3. Foreign workers.
4. Electrostatics

All valid and all being dealt with to the best of my inability. Meanwhile,frequent blowing of nose (bloody) and sneezing. But I'm not going back to fitted carpet, not ever!

Vincent said...

When I'm sanding materials such as wood, plaster or filler, I spray a fine mist of water in the air and it lays the dust. It can then be swept or wiped off with a cloth. Would this help?